Alice.
Blanche and Ellen had a suite with two other girls, and Blanche had steered me into their double off the main room. Ellen put on some Electro that had bleeps and boops going crazy under some synth. We sat on their beds, me feeling awkward next to their petite frames. I tucked my legs under me nervously.
"You are so pretty Alice." Blanche remarked, "I love your hair too."
"Thanks, but like, you guys are so cool looking. I'm just…"
"Oh my god, you look like a model, are you kidding? I'd kill for those legs." Ellen punctuated her words with her fluid hand gestures.
"Yeah, no pants ever fit, it's greattttt…" I drawled.
"We're still jealous!" Blanche smiled. They were so friendly.
"You want to do some lines of adderal?" Ellen tapped her fingers, directing the comment toward Blanche.
"Yeah, definitely. Alice?"
"Uhm, sure." I had never done that, but damned if I was going to seem like a prude little frosh.
"I wish we had coke." Ellen groaned as she crushed a few pills up on a notebook.
"God, I know. Ever done blow, Al?" Blanche used my nickname and I flushed with pride.
"Nah, hard to come back in West Bumfuck, Massachusetts." I smiled.
"She is so funny." Ellen said to Blanche. Blanche was eyeing the lines, but nodded. Finished, Ellen rolled up a twenty and inhaled. I watched her motions so I could mimic them when it was my turn. After Blanche, I held my hair back and inhaled the line of crushed blue pill. It shot up my nose with a jolt, the aftertaste of the coating running down the back of my throat.
“Ah,” Ellen sighed, tilting her head back, and pinching her nose.
“So do you have, like, “Blanche sniffed delicately, “A boyfriend?”
“Nah, I did but he’s at Evergreen State in Oregon.”
“Aw. Was he hot?” Ellen giggled
“Ellen! Look at her, of course he was.” Blanche shook her head.
I sniffed, pulling pill debris up my nose and down my throat again. The taste shocked me a second time and I could feel my nerves buzzing already. I felt like I needed to run around a block a few times to get rid of the excess energy. I wasn’t sure I liked it, but at least I tried. I told myself, this is what college was, trying new things. Of course, I thought that would be learning Italian, not doing drugs, but the same principal applied, I guess.
“What about Kate?” Blanche continued.
“Uhhh…” I stalled. “Kate is… gay. She’s a lesbian.” As soon as I said it, I regretted spilling her secret.
“Oh, cool. I’m heteroflexible.” Ellen responded.
“Hetereo-what now?” I was bewildered by her term
“I’m mostly straight, but I like people, not genders. You know?”
“Oh, right. Sorry.” I felt like I was a geeky twelve year old now. I made a note to look it up online to see if it was a real word.
“Let’s go dance, Alice!” Blanche tugged on my arm.
“Oh, no I don’t dance.” My arms and legs were prone to knocking into things, and dancing seemed like it would only endanger people and objects around. “You do now!” Blanche pulled me up off the bed, shimmying toward the door