Thirteen

Alice
We cruised down on our boards over the quad towards Amherst. We passed by frat row, getting cat called by brothers drinking morning brewskis. I smiled at them and waved, and Kate catcalled back. I felt great today. Reassured that I was now officially a college girl. What did they call them? Co-eds? That reminded me of twin sets and library cards, but the idea was the same. I pushed off quicker, impatient to get to he Mexican place Marcus had told Kate about. they Didn’t card, and I really needed a mixed drink to calm my raging head. My hands felt shaky, a version of the hangover I knew was induced by the coke. I had decided not to tell Kate, just so I didn’t freak her out. Plus It Girl Alice was Blanche and my secret, my superhero alter ego who came out at night and wrecked havoc on parties. It was too exciting to share, as if talking about it aloud would trivialize the experience. We pulled up to the restaurant, a hole in the wall that smelled amazing. I leaned my deck up against the handicapped railing and Kate followed suit. It was only a little crowded in the small restaurant, and we got a table easily. We sat down, and I settled my long frame uncomfortably in the small chairs. Kate had tucked her legs under her, and was ordering fajitas for both of us from the waitress. She knew me so well, knew to ask for no green peppers and extra onions. This comforted me for some reason, I guess having a best friend in an new environment meant a lot to me, a thought that hadn’t crossed my mind since I met all these new people. I felt a surge of gratitude for Kate then, and responded to it by kicking her under the table.
“Asshole.” she laughed.
“I’m just glad you’re here with me, loser. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Like we made all these new friends, but only you know my fajita order. That’s important.”
“I like all these new people too, and I’m glad we met them, but I know what you’re saying.”
“I like all our new friends too. I really like them, and I’m kind of surprised they like us.”
“I’m not, we’re rad.” she smirked. “But really, yeah, how did we luck out? What Blanche was saying, about meeting the right people, I feel like we did. Like Marcus. He’s so awesome. Have you moved on from your crush though? What with your sennnnniorrrrrr.” she drawled, making fun of me.
“I guess so, I mean, I don’t know.” I really didn’t. last night I was over him, but I thought back to his easy grin now and I wasn’t so sure. He really was nice, like Kate said, and he was pretty cute. But then, he liked girls like Blanche, so my chances with him were limited to a drunken makeout, maybe. I pushed that out of my mind and asked Kate about Ellen again.
“I mean, she’s nice and all, and so cute, but I hardly know her. I want my first lesbian experience to mean something.” She looked sheepish. “But you and Aaron, that meant something, you know? I want that. A real girl who likes me.”
“I get it. I couldn’t have just lost my v card to anyone. Remember our plan for a practice boy?” I laughed.
“We are such idiots. Who has a practice hook up?”
“We were young, and it was an okay idea at the time.”
“No it wasn’t, it was retarded.”
“Okay, okay, you’re right. We were retarded.”
“Thank you.”
The waitress brought over sizzling plates, and we ate in comfortable silence, making little fajitas full of delicious fillings. I liked the ease of our relationship, but I knew I wanted to see Blanche tonight and regain some of my party girl status. The party tonight would be low key, I figured, and I hoped she had a little more coke to liven things up for me. I realized now how people got addicted to it, how they wanted that sense of power and pure happiness at all times. I knew I had to be careful though, not to get strung out and briefly considered holding off tonight. But classes started tomorrow and I was nervous. Kate and I had tried to register for all the same ones, but we got last pick as freshman, and got stuck in really different classes. I would be alone then, to face professors and smart kids and more new people. I didn’t trust myself to be a social person without the shield of Kate. She made that easier, we could laugh off rejection. I alone would fear humiliation, fear embarrassing myself in front of a group of people I didn’t know. I chewed thoughtfully, and saw Kate was doing the same. I wondered what she was thinking about, but decided to let her be. Sometimes she was surprisingly introspective, and I left her alone with her thoughts.