1066

1066-Battle of Hastings,
Norman Conquest, Bayeux Tapestry

Dear Alice,
I’m writing this note in history, so maybe you’ll learn something from all the notes I am taking. I’m writing you this to tell you…Fuck, how do I tell you?

Al,
I’m gay. Gay? Do I have to say a Lesbian? I’m new in Gay-ville. I probably know less than you do, because you used to watch a lot of Will and Grace and your cousin goes to Smith. You’re better qualified than me. I am the worst lesbian known to man…err…women. I have not idea what being a lesbian entails, besides liking girls. Is there some sort of manual or roadmap I can get somewhere? Turn left at the Home Depot, and go straight into a pile of flannel shirts? I have no idea where I am or how I got here, but I know that I am gay. Or a lesbian. Jesus fucking Christ.

Importance- Anglo-Norman Language.
What the fuck is Anglo-Norman? PAY MORE ATTENTION!!

Alice, I don’t have a crush on you. I know you got all boobilicious over the summer, and it’s a nice rack, don’t get me wrong, but you’re not my type. I actually have a girlfriend. Sort of. A secret one. I can’t tell you who it is, and before you flip out at me, know that I want to. I want to hold hands with her everywhere, and kiss her in public. But you know I can’t, because what would that mean? I’d be GAY gay. Like publicly gay, and I don’t even know if I’m supposed to call myself gay, or queer or a lesbian. I thought I would be done being confused once I admitted I liked girls, but now, it’s worse. I’m not sexually confused, I’m just label confused.

Domesday Book- get notes from stinky Tim Carter ASAP.

Essentially, Alice, I like girls. Just not you. I mean, obviously I like you, I just don’t like like you, like I like other girls. Get it?
Love,
but not that kind of love,
regular love,
non-gay/lesbian love,
friend love,
Kate