Chapter Fifteen

“If you hate the taste of wine, why do you drink it till you're blind? And if you swear that there's no truth and who cares, How come you say it like you're right? Why are you scared to dream of god,When it's salvation that you want?” Bright Eyes

“That’s it!” Marie exclaimed, “Everything is in.”
We had rented a ridiculous U-Haul, and packed up all of our crap that we couldn’t throw away. Most of our clothes were in trash bags, or just piled on the floor of the van. I had been neat at one time, I think, due to anal retentive roommates, but I had long since given up. We had stocked up for the trip, with a few joints, mixed cds, snack food, and diet soda. We had the thrill that roadtrips always caused, anticipation that quickly leads into boredom and carsickness. Nevertheless, we all piled in the front cab, squished in close together. We drove the five hours trip, dropping Viv off at Pratt and making plans to meet up that night.
“Hey David, Meredith.” Marie greeted her parents with hugs. I thought the fact she called her parents by their first names was kind of pretentious, but then, so was her family.
“And you must be Jane Tyler!” Marie’s mother enveloped me in a hug, smelling like patchouli and expensive perfume. Their apartment was spacious and airy, with some of Marie’s father’s artwork on the walls. We dragged our bags into Marie’s room, where there was a mattress propped against a wall for me. Her walls were covered in old band posters and fashion ads, and I could tell it hadn’t changed since high school. She had a stack of unhung awards stacked on a desk.
“Wow, Math award? And History award too. So I guess you were always a nerd?” She tossed one of her bras at me.
“I try to hide those, my parents keep taking them out.” She sighed.
“So where do I put all my shit?” I gestured to my bags.
“Here we go.” She opened a door to reveal a walk in closet. We dumped all our clothes on the floor, and closed it.
“Unpacked!” I laughed.
“That was easy.”
“So I’m going to call Leo and see what she’s doing tonight.”
I listened to the ring as I flopped on Marie’s bed.
“It’s Leo!” She answered.
“Hey it’s Jane… Jane Tyler. I got into town today and I just wanted to see if you want to meet up later?”
“Oh yeah, most definitely! We’re going to The Amber Room for dinner and drinks, meet us there at eight!” She sounded so excited. I wondered who “Us” was, and I figured it was probably the staff at S.Y.N.T. That created a pit in my stomach because I was dreading meeting them. Their articles were so cool and witty; I knew they would be too.
We got dressed, and I wore the same rockabilly outfit I had worn on that night with Andrew. Marie and I walked, because the restaurant was in the Village. When we arrived, I told the hostess Leo’s name and she pointed out the group. I walked up and a girl with massive amounts of curly blonde hair jumped to her feet.
“Jane! I recognize you from Facebook! I’m Leo!” She hugged me awkwardly. She was so exuberant, I smiled.
“Everyone, this is Jane our new intern and this is,” She pointed at Marie and raised her eyebrows, still smiling.
“Uhm, I’m Marie, Jane’s room mate.”
“This is Marie!” She said loudly, shaking Marie's hand.
We sat down, and introduced ourselves. As I expected it was mostly staff members, but a few gorgeous hipsters were mixed in. Their conversation floated easily through topics, and everyone was eating off each other’s plates. The girl next to me, a fashion editor at S.Y.N.T, kept gesturing with her fork all over the place, spilling food. What amazed me was their lack of drinking. I had three cocktails and a glass of wine, while most of them barely touched their drinks. I felt too drunk, and ashamed that I was probably looking like an alcoholic. I took a sip of water, and gnawed on a roll.
“So Jane, how’s your famous boyfriend?” Leo asked.
“Oh, um, we broke up. I said quietly.
“OH, boo. I’m sorry. Well we’ll cancel that interview!” She put her arm around me.
I felt surprisingly comfortable around her, and her sincere empathy at my breakup was a nice change from Marie and Viv’s scorn. My phone buzzed, and I saw it was Viv.
“Hey, come to my dorm, let’s go out to Bungalow 8!” there was background noises that sounded like there were fifty banshees in her room.
I turned to Marie, and covered the phone.
“It’s Viv, she wants us to go to Bungalow 8.”
“Oh lala,” Leo said. “That place is so nice. Why don’t we all go?”
Everyone started talking about nights they had spent there, celebrity sightings and wild partying.
“Yeah, we’ll meet you there. What time?”
“Oh, ten or eleven,” She shrieked at something someone in the background was saying.
I held the phone away from my ear.
“Okay” I yelled back.
“Who was that?” The fashion editor, Yuki, asked.
“Oh, our friend from school, Vivian.” Marie shrugged.
“Word.” Yuki nodded.

After a quick trip home to change into more appropriate club clothes, we grabbed a cab uptown. We got out of the cab, amid a wash of people.
“Jane! Marie! Over here!” I spotted Viv at the head of the line. I had texted Leo and she was already inside. Even in New York, with no connections, we got in easily. I felt relieved, and important. We met all of Viv’s new art school friends, who had an array of asymmetrical haircuts, and piercings. There was a cute, shy looking boy who I made eyes at, out of habit. We met up with Leo, who was wearing a crazy pattered dress that looked vintage, but probably wasn’t. We introduced Viv, who seemed charmed by Leo’s big smile and even bigger hair. Yuki was wearing a wig, a bright blue bob, and some sort of crazy outfit. She looked ridiculous, but amazing.
“This is Jonah, my boyfriend.” He was quiet and unassuming, and they made an odd couple, but he was obviously smitten with her.
“A round of drinks on me!” Viv yelled to everyone, brandishing her parent’s black AmEx.
“She means on Mom and Dad,” I snickered to Marie.
“Ok, pot, call the kettle black again.” She shot back, laughing.
We all were yelling over the noise, shaking hands and introducing the mix of people. I felt overwhelmed, but in a good way. I was decidedly drunk; the kind of drunk where you assume everyone else is, too. Marie and I were talking to some of the art students, including the cute boy.
“Yeah I go to Brown.” A girl named Kelsey said. She had a septum piercing and dreadlocks framing a pretty face.
“Oh cool, I almost went there. “ I remarked.
“What about you guys? Wellesley, too?”
“Um, I just dropped out.”
“Oh. Word.” She looked kind of confused, and I excused myself. I found Leo in the crowd, talking to a group of her friends.
“Jane! This is my girlfriend, Taylor.” She pointed to a pretty girl with a short afro and high cheekbones.
“Nice to meet you.” She smiled too, and wove her arm around Leo’s waist. Leo nestled her head onto Taylor’s shoulder, and I felt a twinge of jealously. They looked so good together, like they fit. I remember when Andrew and I were like that, and suddenly felt myself falling away from the crowd. I felt alone, like I was collapsing inward. But I forced myself to smile, and say the right things, so I didn’t ruin anyone’s night.
Viv left with the cute art student, per usual, and Marie and I said goodbye to everyone we had met, about three times, before we finally left.
I lay in bed, with the spins, counting reasons I should be happy. One: New friends with serious potential. Two: The girls in New York with me. Three… I stopped. There had to be something else, didn’t there?
“Marie?”
“Mhmm?” She responded, sleepily.
“Nothing, Good night.” I lay awake for a while after that, my mind turning over with the question I had asked myself.